


Shopping, Boating, and Boardwalking

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [107]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Other, Plans For The Future, Polyamory, Shopping, Summer, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:24:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14060814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: little lion: wait unbutton your shirt I'm taking the tattoo covering Off youmore like HUNKules: in the?? middle of a seafood restaurant parking lot??little lion: yesmore like HUNKules: ,,,,I mean,,,alright,,,





	Shopping, Boating, and Boardwalking

**more like HUNKules** : the fact that alex could sleep for two seconds and still be able to function for a whole day, but can sleep forever when he's comfortable enough makes my heart Flip

 **johnn** : is he still asleep

 **more like HUNKules** : ye I've been staring at him for like half an hour just watching how peaceful he looks and !! where are y'all 

 **laf:** we were gonna leave you to sleep bc your tattoos are probably sore and the more you sleep the less you have to feel that and then pack the cooler for the beach, but it's raining so we're having coffee and waiting for you to come down bc we love you

 **more like HUNKules** : I dont want to though

 **more like HUNKules** : just bring the coffee up

 **laf** : but I don't wanna W a l k

 **more like HUNKules** : hMm but I'm not waking up alex and he can't wake up alone sOooO

 **johnn** : ,,,,he got us beat

 **laf** : I'm,,,,aware

 **laf** : I love hercules

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you too!!

 **more like HUNKules** : but also please bring me coffee before the children wake up I'll straight up literally fucking die

 **laf** : we're comin

 **more like HUNKules** : I sat up so I could take this coffee when you got up here and alex rested his head on my leg and I love him so much

 **more like HUNKules** : idk!! maybe it's the fact that I have a poem he wrote tattooed over my heart or the fact he has a part of my wedding vows tattooed over his or maybe that he's my husband has been for fourteen years and loved me for twenty who knows!! I'm just feelin a lot for him right now

 **johnn** : babe

 **more like HUNKules** : like he's On my tattoo of your initials but it doesn't hurt like my mind is so dead set on trying to kill me rn by loving the man I Literally married that you could stab me and I wouldn't feel it

 **laf** : aW

 **laf** : stay there I'm taking pictures

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm staying here no matter what

 **johnn** : we should go shopping today

 **johnn** : whether us or as a family it doesn't matter

 **johnn** : but I do want all of us to do smth together bc I love our family sm

 **more like HUNKules** : ya

 **more like HUNKules** : the rain is supposed to stop later today so if the water isn't too bad we could still do the boat

 **more like HUNKules** : but alex, ana, and william don't like the boat and am I in any state to be away from alex at this moment in time

 **laf** : JDHJHDJA

 **little lion** : I'm about to kill hercules bUT it's fine bc he's cute and I love him

 **more like HUNKules** : mgmmbb I love you too

 **johnn** : y'all are so cute

 **little lion** : I love you all

 **laf** : we love you too alexander

 **little lion** : !! also go on the boat !! you're excited for it and I can take anyone who doesn't want to go on to the boaRDWALK bc I haven't been there yet and I can go in the bookstore and uHH try not to send us into credit card debt

 **laf** : you just said so much all at once

 **little lion** : ,,,yes

 **laf** : but !! ye that's good ana mentioned this new book series she wants to start last night so she'll be excited

 **johnn** : ??? when did she say that ??? all the kids went to bed almost immediately after we got home

 **laf** : I woke up at like,,,three am last night and went downstairs and she was just Sitting at the dining room table in complete darkness eating the new pack of oreos like a Monster

 **laf** : and I was like,,,,weLL,,,,if they're already Out

 **little lion** : oh my god

 **laf** : anyway we had a nice conversation and also All of the oreos

 **more like HUNKules** : KHDKDSHD aw

 **little lion** : !! then after you get off the boat we can go for dinner !!

 **johnn** : loVe dinner

 **more like HUNKules** : hmm but that means you're not allowed to get drunk on the boat

 **johnn** : ,,,,,,,fine

 **little lion** : y'all astound me

 **johnn** : I Will record hercules driving the boat shirtless

 **little lion** : that is All I ask

 **more like HUNKules** : amazing

\---

 **frances** : pip I respect that you love theo a lot buT if you don't stop talking I swear I'm going to shave your head in your sleep

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,,are you talking about the Rain,,,,or a fucking Ghost,,,,because nobody is talking and I just woke up

 **frances** : ,,,,is francis on the fucking phone

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ya

 **frances** : I hate him

 **pip pip doodly doo** : he woke me up so same

\---

 **james** : watching all you and your siblings wake up to francis talking to his dad on the phone and then immediately grabbing the pillows of your beds and throwing them at him, followed by the "",,,yeah dad,,I have to go,,,bye"" is HONESTLY performance art

 **frances** : I love him but it's eight in the damn morning

 **james** : fair

 **france eyes** : to be fair He called Me after I didn't answer last night,,,,because Some People like to pile on top of me and make me sleep even if my phone is ringing

 **frances** : I feel attacked

 **james** : hoNESTLY like you love One (1) boy

 **france eyes** : aw you love me

 **james** : ?? have I not made that clear in the past eleven months that I've been in a relationship with you ??

 **france eyes** : of course!! but still it's nice to know

 **france eyes** : I love you both a lot !!

 **frances** : aw francis

 **frances** : we love you too!!

 **france eyes** : also like !! what are we doing today ?? bc I'm guessing the beach is out

 **frances** : idk I'll ask my parents later

 **frances** : come here

 **france eyes** : oh!! yes sleep

 **france eyes** : love her

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : also bc I didn't get to say it before, Yes I do love theo sm

 **frances** : aw

 **pip pip doodly doo** : tis all I have to say goodbye

 **frances** : peace tf out

\---

 **little lion** : it is ten o'clock I assume y'all figured that we aren't going to the beach so what do you want to do

 **more like HUNKules** : We want to go shopping if anyone wants to come

 **laf** : did we decide on shopping??

 **johnn** : yes you were focused on your book though and we respect that

 **laf** : I'm nothing if not a murder mystery mom in her forties

 **little lion** : kshHKHKHSD

 **little lion** : but ya if anyone wants to come whether you want to shop with or without us just let us know !!

 **hugh lowercase** : we're gonna take william to the movies probs but uH the rain is supposed to stop at 4 so are we still boating oR

 **more like HUNKules** : maybe it depends if the ocean wants to love us or not

 **hugh lowercase** : okay bc like I want to do things w y'all but my son is,,,cooler than you and also possesses a large part of my heart

 **elizabeth s** : mood

 **little lion** : aw!!

 **hugh lowercase** : we might meet up w you later there's a disney store here

 **little lion** : that's fine!!

 **frances** : f2j is going but idk if we're walking with you

 **little lion** : that's fine love

 **pip pip doodly doo** : me, theo, and ana are also coming

 **johnn** : !! we'll leave at 11:30 !! bc I am crunching in a power nap goodnight

 **frances** : mood goodnight

 **laf** : I'm?? he's out

 **pip pip doodly doo** : frances is asleep on the fucking floor

 **laf** : of course

 **little lion** : naturally

\---

 **laf** : I don't want to do my makeup

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,then?? don't

 **more like HUNKules** : 20 more minutes for us to cuddle you and for none of us to be cold

 **more like HUNKules** : also you won't have to worry about your lipstick fading

 **laf** : ,,,,,if you're gonna convince me I need something else

 **little lion** : we can make out !!

 **laf** : there it is

\---

 **little lion** : ARE Y'ALL READY !!

 **frances** : yA!! almost I just need shoes

 **johnn** : do I wear sneakers or dad flip flops

 **more like HUNKules** : SNEAKERS I swear I will divorce you

 **little lion** : KSHDJ DO YOU GET TO SAY ANYTHING IN THAT SHIRT

 **more like HUNKules** : IM

 **little lion** : THATS THE SAME WHITE DAD SHIRT FROM YESTERDAY WHY

 **more like HUNKules** : well yesterday I was like hmm,,,it's breezy and I'm going to sweat during laser tag,,,,and then this time it was bc I know if I wore it you all would Laugh like that

 **laf** : hERCULES

 **more like HUNKules** : I have the emotional stability of a literal fucking pillow right now dead ass idk how I'm supposed to go shopping

 **more like HUNKules** : every time we go shopping and y'all go to try things on I literally feel like I have to leave and go drink a bottle of water,,,fuckin diffuse myself so I don't explode in the middle of the skinny jeans section of a store

 **laf** : ,,,I Do need new skinny jeans

 **more like HUNKules** : goodbye children

 **anastasie** : goodbye father

 **johnn** : damn not even a tearful beg not to go out like this

 **anastasie** : I mean,,,I'll miss him,,,,but at the same time I can't stop a heart attack so ://

 **more like HUNKules** : okAY IM READY

\---

 **little lion** : ,,we should fuck later

 **johnn** : I'm

 **johnn** : we're going Shopping all day we will have no energy to move

 **laf** : but we Are going boating later so we can go home, fuck, then go boating, then dinner, and come home and sleep

 **more like HUNKules** : but what if we go home, nap, boating, dinner, home, fuck, then sleep

 **johnn** : ,,,,okay yes better bc then we get to go to Bed and that's Nice

 **laf** : and that way when we shower we can also wash the sea salt off instead of getting dirty again

 **little lion** : we've really become people who plan when they have sex haven't we

 **laf** : yes but we Haven't become the people whose planned sex is Disappointing

 **laf** : ,,right?? it's not just me who thinks that right

 **more like HUNKules** : no it's not just you everything is still good

 **more like HUNKules** : I could get into more Specific and Detailed adjectives but uh we're about to be away from our room and in Public for a considerable amount of hours so No

 **laf** : okay I wanted to make Sure

 **little lion** : lafayette is literally fskdhaskdjh

 **little lion** : I'm not getting into it but I literally died on saturday and they're Worried like goodbye

 **laf** : KHSJHDDSKH I get conCERNED !! I am nothing if not a Worried Spouse

 **johnn** : and we love you for that <3

 **laf** : I love you too <3

 **little lion** : oFF TO THE BUS!!

 **more like HUNKules** : THE BUS!!

\---

 **laf** : ,,,,is there anyone more beautiful than john!! fucking!! laurens!!

 **little lion** : hoNESTLY NO

 **more like HUNKules** : khshskhd he's looking at sHIRT S

 **laf** : yeah but,,,look at him Looking at those shirts

 **laf** : beautiful

 **little lion** : !! the curve of his nose and the bow of his lips !! his cheekbones and jawline and the way he stands with his shoulders drawn back lookin like fuckign Royalty !! his hair and his freckles and his eyelashes are so long!! looka t hiS HANDS

 **more like HUNKules** : omg

 **little lion** : he's so gorgeous I want to just run my hands across his shoulders and down his back and his nice shoulder blades and the notches of his spine and jesus I Love that man

 **johnn** : y'all not only need to Comma, you need to fuLL STOP

 **laf** : your eyes are piercing you are a fucking vision with your sleeves rolled up and your shirt has little polka dots on it and !!

 **johnn** : y'aLL !!

 **little lion** : when you BLUSH

 **more like HUNKules** : AND YOUR SMILE GETS SO WIDE AND YOU HAVE TO COVER YOUR FACE BC YOURE STILL EMBARRASSED WHEN YOUR SPOUSES COMPLIMENT YOU!!!!

 **laf** : OUR PRECIOUS AND LOVELY BEAUTIFUL HUSBA N D !!

 **johnn** : khsjdHJKSD

 **johnn** : to mOVE the POINT, my sister called earlier this morning and asked if we wanted to all get together bc mary's coming in next week

 **little lion** : where was she this time??

 **johnn** : berlin I think?? she goes a lot of places it's hard to keep track of them all

 **laf** : ooOh who did she go with

 **johnn** : honestly?? I have no idea !! she's dating like four women all of whom are rich and travel I'm really ?? is it bad that I don't know?? did I become like bad at being a brother to my siblings??

 **more like HUNKules** : john you're 42 and have three kids, you can ask mary about her life when she comes in

 **johnn** : she knew about you guys though and remembered y'all

 **laf** : ,,,she was ten and had Zero children when she met us

 **johnn** : ,,,,,,ok fair

 **little lion** : and !! yes we all want to get together I miss your siblings

 **johnn** : you saw them like,,,a week and a half ago

 **little lion** : ya but !! I didn' t see mary or henry last time and they're Part of your siblings !!

 **johnn** : oh idk if henry is coming being around a lot of people is still kinda hard for him but!! I'll ask

 **laf** : I hope he comes

 **johnn** : !! me too

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you all

 **more like HUNKules** : just to !! I want to say it right now,,,

 **johnn** : we love you too hercules

 **laf** : we love you hercules

 **little lion** : love you

\---

 **james** : hdjdgsjgJGJG francis in a romper is,,,life fucking altering I have such a deep love for him

 **frances** : mOOD

 **james** : yOU HAVENT EVEN SEEN HIM YET

 **frances** : and you haven't seen me yet

 **james** : oH MATCHING ROMPERS !! FUCK

 **france eyes** : I'm fucking buying this

 **frances** : yOU SHOULD!! YOU LOOK SO GOOD!!

 **james** : I love you both so much!!

 **frances** : we love you too!!

 **frances** : also james I'm also buying this fucking thing so picK SOMETHING THAT MATCHES WE'RE WEARING THESE BOATING LATER

 **france eyes** : these Do look like boat outfits

 **frances:** riGHT

 **james:** I fucking love fancy tank tops

 **james:** I found three

 **james:** I'm buying aLL of them

 **france eyes** : this sounds stupid because I Am stupid but!! when james buys stuff for himself that he likes and Wants to buy, instead of stuff his Family wants him to buy

 **france eyes** : ultimate heart eyes btich

 **james** : hsjH get out here I want soft pretzels

 **frances** : I love you so much jaMES!!

 **james** : I love you too!! now coME !! ON!!

 **frances** : we're coming!!  
\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : if theo convinces her dad to pay for it can she come to disney with us next time

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,maybe,,,,

 **pip pip doodly doo** : !! really !!

 **little lion** : ,,,,you need to get a job

 **pip pip doodly doo** : please no

 **little lion** : ,,,we'll go to disney when you get a job

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I sell my paintings bam income I have a job

 **pip pip doodly doo** : disney nOw

 **laf** : ,,,,fuck

 **johnn** : sell five

 **pip pip doodly doo** : theodosia, love of my life, has offered to pay twenTY DOLLARS for my watercolor swatches

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,we can talk LATER

 **pip pip doodly doo** : Y A S

\---

 **little lion** : we could go next year as his graduation trip

 **laf** : but then would we hit up disney And the beach, bc like,,,,

 **little lion** : ,,,,disney w james and thomas hMmM

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,alright

 **little lion** : wait really

 **little lion** : like really really

 **johnn** : ,,,they're your husbands babe

 **little lion** : joHN !!

 **more like HUNKules** : you're crying !! love !!

 **laf** : honey!!

 **little lion** : because!! you're so !! accepting and I love james and thomas so much !! I want to spend my whole life with all of you and you're so willing to fuckign !! spend your lives with people just because I love them and that's such a big commitment like !! do you get that !! that's hUGE !! you're so amazing and I know I've been with you for twenty years but I really don't know what I did to deserve you honestly

 **more like HUNKules** : alex literally anything we ever do for you is Nothing compared to everything you've done for us

 **johnn** : like,,,doll,,,do you want to go get smoothies and we can talk about it??

 **little lion** : why must you bribe me with smoothies like that

 **johnn** : bc I'm your husband and I love you and know how to make you feel better when you are Crying

 **little lion** : ,,,,yes I want to go for smoothies,,,,

 **laf** : we love you so much

 **little lion** : I love you too!!

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : where did you gO

 **theodosia the Second** : nowhere,,,

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I literally cannot find you anywhere

 **theodosia the Second** : !! you're not supposed to !! I'm buying something

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ?? do I get to know about the something ??

 **theodosia the Second** : I'm coming out now!!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ????

 **pip pip doodly doo** : oH

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : theo just walked out of a store, beaming bc she Is the fucking Sun, and then just,,,grabbed my hand and put a ring on my finger

 **pip pip doodly doo** : so I'm sorry but I'm going to have to die !! :)

 **anastasie** : ,,,,I'm done in justice if you want to,,,,,uh,,,Stop that Right Now

 **frances:** and we bought boat clothes so we're ready to meet you guys!!

 **theodosia the Second** : he literally can't form words rn he won't speak to me

 **theodosia the Second** : not like he's mad but he keeps looking from the ring to my face and then back and he's like dying and blushing so hard!! he has a galaxy on his face I love every inch of him

 **james** : y'all better cut this out

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,,,,,,,,,I'm not doing anything

 **france eyes** : you literally just killed a man

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,,,,,

 **theodosia the Second** : I plead the fifth bitch!!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : what is this even FOR

 **theodosia the Second** : bc I love you!! and you literally talk in your sleep about marrying me and I want to !! marry you Also,,,,so,,,Rings

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I am fucking yELLING

 **pip pip doodly doo** : also what do I sA Y IN MY SLEEP

 **theodosia the Second** : oh sO MUCH

 **anastasie** : KHDSKJDHKJSDH

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : just got married

 **laf** : ,,,,no,,,,,

 **laf** : you're can't

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I have a ring!! peEP the ring !! I'm did

 **laf** : I can't peep Anything because I'm 20% sure we're not even on the same side of these outlets

 **laf** : but also I swear to god philip

 **pip pip doodly doo** : didn't you and Dads get rings before you got married

 **laf** : wE were 26

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,,,,age is but a number,,,,and if you could've been engaged to them when you were 17 wouldn't you want to be?? if this is how it still turned out

 **laf** : ,,,nO

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,,,,,goodbye

\---

 **laf** : are you okay to talk about things now love

 **little lion** : yeah but after I want to know what made you swear to god @ our kid

 **laf** : he said he got married

 **little lion** : ,,,,,,okay then fair

 **johnn** : okay so !! james and thomas

 **more like HUNKules** : marriage

 **laf** : and your worries and Concerns

 **little lion** : it!! I've been dating thomas and james again for Two months. I told you the Night we got back together that if things kept going okay I was Probably going to marry them because I still loved them and wanted to be with them and you!! looked me in the eyes, literally no fucking hesitation, and said Okay like !! you just agreed to that !! and like it's so much bigger than me dating them !! they have kids !! wE have kids !! when I marry thomas and james it'll be like,,,literally marrying them too,,,,and I don't want you to commit to that if you don't want to it's !! so much to take on and I don't want to put you through something you don't want to do!!

 **johnn** : ,,,alex,,,we said yes that night you told us because we !! love you sm !! and it literally does not matter how big the thing is, we would go to the ends of the earth for you

 **more like HUNKules** : and also !! you wanted to marry james and thomas 12 years ago but broke up with them instead bc it jeopardized your future plans with us, and even after we Told you we could've made it work, that we would've done Anything to make you happy, you Didn't because you wanted us to be happy and you wanted Them to be happy and you didn't want to have to make any of us sacrifice anything we wouldn't have to so you took All of it and you !! burdened all of that just because you didn't want to see any of us Possibly be upset like !! honey

 **more like HUNKules** : if you think us being okay w you marrying james and thomas and then sharing a bed w them for the rest of our lives is A Lot, you aren't noticing the fact that we're just doing what we would've done twelve years ago and that this is No sacrifice for us

 **laf** : you !! have literally gotten into fights, risked panic attacks four hundred times over, done things that you have Nightmares about doing, broken bones, got tattoos with us, tried so hard every day to be as fucking spectacular a husband as you Are, gone through literally cataclysmic !! things alone because you didn't want us to be upset bc you were !! for our or our family's sake !! you !! if we weren't okay with even One thing you asked of us it wouldn't be a fair deal!!

 **johnn** : you deserve the world alex

 **johnn** : it is our Job, liTerally what we signed up for, to be able to give that to you

 **johnn** : you marrying james and alex is something you gave up, it's something you gave up On ever getting to happen, and now you have that chance I would literally rather Die than ever take that away from you!! ((also I'm excited as hell for it)) but !! you deserve so much and more!! and I'm so happy to be able to be a part of your life and I'm so grateful you get to be a part of mine!! we love you so much alexander

 **little lion** : ,,,y'aLL

 **laf** : and !! jane and lucy !! are going to be so much fun getting to know, we are ride or die for them already even if we've only spent time with them a little bit, we're more than willing to do anything for them like we would ana, pip, or frances

 **little lion** : ,,,can we fucking go home

 **little lion** : I don't even want to shop anymore I just want to go home and cuddle all of you and talk to james and thomas and love all of you with my whole heart

 **little lion** : I can't wait to live my life with you all

 **johnn** : we'll leave the bus here so frances and the kids can put their bags in there

 **little lion** : I'm sorry I ruined our shopping day

 **more like HUNKules** : you only ever make things better love let's go home

 **little lion** : <3 <3 <3

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : wait are?? y'all our parents aren't married

 **frances** : what

 **pip pip doodly doo** : legally they're?? they can't be married

 **frances** : ,,,does that Matter??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : no but it never occured to me into this very moment of my ten years of knowing my own parents that they aren't legally married

 **frances** : ???yoU'VE KNOWN THE LAWS??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : BUT I HAVENT EVER REALIZED THAT BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCKING MARRIED

 **anastasie** : I love you so much philip truly you're my favorite brother but you're dumb as fuck

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I HAVE TO ASK

 **frances** : KSHDJHF UCKING WHY

 **james** : I'm actually screaming

 **frances** : SAJDHSKJDHKS  
\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : aRE Y'ALL LIKE ?? MARRIED LEGALLY??

 **laf** : why do you always come to Me with questions about marriage

 **pip pip doodly doo** : bc you're relationship parent, hercules is clothes dad, alex is advice dad, and john is everything else in the world dad bc he's chiller than all of you and also hides our secrets

 **laf** : oh my GOD

 **pip pip doodly doo** : NASWER PLEASE

 **laf** : yeS but not the way you think

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ????

 **laf** : legally, We Four aren't married, but all four of us are married

 **laf** : last names my love

 **pip pip doodly doo** : why the fuck are we speaking in ridDLES

 **pip pip doodly doo** : OH

\---

pip pip doodly doo: OUR PARENTS ARE MARRIED IN PAIRS

 **pip pip doodly doo** : JOHN IS MARRIED TO HERCULES AND ALEX IS MARRIED TO LAFAYETTE

 **frances** : why do you get to fucking know the cool stuff first

 **frances** : BECAUSE I ASK THE COOL QUESTIONS FIRST

 **anastasie** : wait what

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I ASKED PAR AND THEY SAID YE SBUT NOT HOW I THINK AND ""legally, We Four aren't married, but all four of us are married"" aND ""last names my love""

 **pip pip doodly doo** : SO LIKE !!! THEY'RE MARRIED

 **pip pip doodly doo** : IDK WHY

 **anastasie** : WEIRDLY THIS IS FEELS CUTE TO ME BUT ITS LIKE,,,,FUCKING NORMAL RIGHT

 **frances** : NO!! IT ISNT

 **anastasie** : I MEAN?? TAX BENEFITS

 **frances** : I fucking hate you bc that's probably the reason

 **anastasie** : I knOW  
\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : wait

 **laf** : ???

 **pip pip doodly doo** : when did you get married?? and also you're married to pops right?? how did you,,,decide that

 **laf** : uH 2019 and yes and we ?? eloped

 **laf** : also we did it by drawing names bc we all love each other equally and couldn't decide ourselves but !! it doesn't really,,,,matter to us?? bc we see all four of us,,,as married,,,bc we Are

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm,,,why did you elope

 **laf** : you don't need to know

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,,,,okay??

 **pip pip doodly doo** : was it tax benefits

 **laf** : bYE PHILIP

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : thoSE B IT C HES

 **france eyes** : ,,,,y'all just out here,,,,,calling your parents bitches,,,,like that's normal

 **pip pip doodly doo** : it's out of love and exasperation,,,these bitches really out here marrying for tax benefits and hiding it from their children

 **james** : I'm

\---

 **little lion** : you're still,,,certain you want to marry me right?? like you're not staying in this relationship just because you don't know how to let me know you don't want to marry me right??

 **jmadzzz** : alexander!! of course we want to marry you!! we love you so much!!

 **little lion** : and you're !! you're sure right, because I love you and me and my spouses were !! talking about how big this actually is and I love you so much and I just !! there's five whole people involved in this that I don't know the feelings of because they're not Me that I want to talk about in more detail and !! I'm just really worried all the time

 **johnn** : my love this is in the spouse dome chat

 **little lion** : that's okay

 **little lion** : we kind of all need to talk about this anyway so

 **more like HUNKules** : true

 **macaroni fUCK** : I'm here now

 **laf** : me too love

 **little lion** : !! I'm just

 **little lion** : I married lafayette, john, and hercules fourteen years ago and !! for two whole years you wanted to marry me and didn't tell me !! until you Did and I Knew that even if I did marry you, that you had a plan for your life and !! I had one for mine, and that they would stretch all of us too thin and we wouldn't be able to put other things into perspective the way would have if we weren't, and I Couldn't be a husband to all of you and !! I wanted so bad to be married to you and breaking up with you was the hardest thing I ever had to do

 **little lion** : and then I !! our plans continued without each other and every time I saw either of you my heart would just shatter and at first I didn't even want to go to work and it just !! it was a fucking Bad Time and in the matter of five minutes I was forced to realize that all the things I still wanted to do with you would never happen !! and I had to give all of those up and learn to live life knowing that I !! wasn't allowed !! to love you anymore and it!! took a long time for me to be even,,,,,able to function

 **little lion** : and !! then !! twelve years later!! when I still love you both and refuse to admit that I still love you both, lucy and jane become friends with my daughter and she invites you to my twentieth wedding anniversary!! and I've seen you like !! everyday since but you were both so beautiful and yeAH you had a farmhouse sink but I was willing to accept that because everything you did!! and everything you do!! just makes me fall more in love with you and !!

 **little lion** : ana locked us in a bathroom using the rope from our lube drawer adn fucking!! you told me you loved me still and it felt like everything was fucking clear again and I loved my life !! don't get me wrong my spouses and my children were and are and will always be the best part of my life but knowing that you still loved me even after I broke up with you just !! it made everything Right again

 **little lion** : and now I want to marry you and you want to marry me but it's not just about getting married anymore!! we have five children total, and they matter Most and it's all of your agreeing to live together and sleep in the Same bed for !! ever !! literally ever and you just fucking say yes to that!! you act like it's not even something you have to think about but I overthink!! so I feel like we should just,,,,kinda clear things up and straighten things out whether it be for all of our sakes or the futures or Mine, I just need to know Do You Want This and do you !! geT the mAGNITUDE OF THIS!! you don't have to do this for me if you don't want to

 **jmadzzz** : alexander

 **little lion** : y'all been gettin real fond of my full name recently

 **jmadzzz** : of course we know how big this is!!! and I can't even explain how many times we've been Metaphorically stared down into the fucking Abyss, the only thing big enough to contain how huge marrying you and getting to live our lives with you is, and just !! understood that we don't deserve you and that you marrying us and agreeing to not only let us Back into your lives, after having to sacrifice so much the first time, but to fucking take such a huge interest in lucy and jane and want to be there for them as much as you can even now, is so !! astounding and much more than we could ever imagine

 **macaroni fUCK** : I love you so much alex I just !! I need a minute to get my words together please just know I'm not ignoring this

 **little lion** : I love you too!! and that's fine my love

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : welcome to the spouse house

 **more like HUNKules** : this is like the spouse dome, except our mutual husband Is Not In It

 **johnn** : it's a bigger alex protection chat

 **more like HUNKules** : yes and if y'all need to figure out your words Here, Before you say them to alex

 **laf** : we'll help

 **macaroni fUCK** : I just !! I got it

\---

 **macaroni fUCK** : alex !!

 **little lion** : here

 **macaroni fUCK** : me and james want !! to live our lives with you, and I mean our Whole lives, the living with you and loving you and sleeping in One Whole ass bed, helping with your children in addition to raising ours and !! everything that falls in, out, or around that are things we're 100% willing to and things we 100% wANt to have and do with you !! we want to live our lives with you Because we love you so much and this is Huge, and saying Yes to it with no hesitation isn't hard!! because we know!! what we want !! and what we Want is to have a Future married to you and Happy and you make us so happy I think sometimes I might just,,,burST from how much I love you bc wow!! it fills my heart and I just could drown

 **little lion** : thom A s

\---

 **johnn** : I'm fucking crying that was so nice

 **jmadzzz** : so is he

 **jmadzzz** : also why do I always have to be the one to announce thomas' tears

 **macaroni fUCK** : bc you like to expose me to other people that I have emotions or Whatever 

 **jmadzzz** : ,,,tru

 **jmadzzz** : also bc you like to just ball up in my lap and not answer the incoming text messages

 **macaroni fUCK** : that too

 **laf** : ,,,,y'all are so cute

 **macaroni fUCK** : we really do want to live with all of you and marry alex!!

 **more like HUNKules** : we know you do!! and so does alex, but he gets really worried, and iN turn, panics and we love him dearly

 **jmadzzz** : us too what the fuck!! I'm crying now!!

\---

 **little lion** : I want to sleep

 **little lion** : I know you all know how big this and thank you so much!! for taking time to tell me bc I got worried!! and for loving me and for leaving your shopping day and dropping everything for me I don't deserve any of you in my life

\---

 **johnn** : the man broKE UP WITH PEOPLE HE WANTED TO MARRY BC HE DIDNT WANT US TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT DESERVE US

 **more like HUNKules** : WHAT!! COULD!! WE!! HAVE!! EVER!! DONE!! TO MAKE HIM THINK THAT !! WE HAVE DONE NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT HES DONE FOR US

 **jmadzzz** : HSJDHSDJHSDJHS IM HE KSJHDKDSJ

\---

 **jmadzzz** : sleep darling

 **jmadzzz** : also when you come home I'm gonna fight you

 **little lion** : last time you said that I went to your house and you threw me over your shoulder and threw me on your bed and then made out with me for like three hours

 **jmadzzz:** ,,,,,the same is implied here

 **little lion** : I figured <3 goodnight loves

 **macaroni fUCK** : goodnight my love !! sleep well

 **little lion** : y'eople are gonna kill me one day

 **johnn** : YEOPLE

 **little lion** : also !! james and thomas !! call me later I miss your voices <3

 **jmadzzz** : !! we're at work still but !! once we get home we'll call you

 **macaroni fUCK** : jane and lucy are out for the night so!! we can yell

 **little lion** : hJDHkhH I can't wait

\---

 **jmadzzz** : ,,,,,,,

 **jmadzzz** : I don't know what to say

 **macaroni fUCK** : I'm so fucking red right now

 **little lion** : IJSHDKJSD IM SORRY I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON

 **jmadzzz** : itS FINE IM JUST !! SURPRISED AND FLUSTERED

 **jmadzzz** : aMONG OTHER THINGS THAT COME WITH YOUR HUSBAND ANSWERING THE PHONE WHEN HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING SEX WITH HIS OTHER SPOUSES AND,,,,AUDIBLE

 **macaroni fUCK** : not gonna lie I have a problem

 **little lion** : ,,,do you want me to call back

 **little lion** : it's fine if you do

 **macaroni fUCK** : I mean,,,

 **little lion** : dialling

 **macaroni fUCK** : oH that is a Facetime Call

\---

 **laf** : ,,,,,,,s O

 **little lion** : paris. august. all six of us. three days.

 **laf** : deal

 **johnn** : deal

 **more like HUNKules** : deal

\---

 **macaroni fUCK** : oh my g o d

 **jmadzzz** : I'm

 **little lion** : we have an hour before we have to get up and go boating/boardwalking so I'm gonna make this quick bc I'm falling asleep literally as I type

 **little lion** : we have a sex apartment in paris that we go to once a year, the intention of it was Not sex apartment, but we literally do not ever See paris, sO

 **little lion** : the point is we could go there instead of the lake house for like a three day weekend for Obvious reasons, and we originally planned to bring this up Later, but judging by,,,literally five minutes ago,,,,,I thought we could push that date forward

 **macaroni fUCK** : we'll go.

 **little lion** : thought so after that

 **little lion** : goodnight loves

 **jmadzzz** : I think I'm dead

 **jmadzzz** : also remember like,,,when you and thomas first started dating,,,,,a little after,,,,and he saw your spouses naked accidentally and asked how you're still alive??

 **little lion** : mhmm

 **jmadzzz** : I would like to reprise this question

 **little lion** : you saw your answer love

 **little lion** : now gooDNIGHT

 **little lion** : I LOVE YOU BOTH !!

 **macaroni fUCK** : oh my g o d

 **macaroni fUCK** : goodnight!! we love you too!! but oh my god where the fuck does all the energy come from

 **jmadzzz** : just,,,come here

 **macaroni fUCK** : we're sleeping right

 **jmadzzz** : yes

 **macaroni fUCK** : bless bless bless

\---

 **laf** : we ruined the plan

 **little lion** : I mean,,,,,we don't Have to,,,,we could still have sex again later

 **more like HUNKules** : Perhaps

 **johnn** : hghhghs maybe and also !! I'm not saying Anything but the way alex talks to thomas is,,,Inspiring

 **little lion** : I love him

 **little lion** : I love all of you !!

 **little lion** : fuck !! I really love all of you so much my heart is buRSTInG

 **little lion** : or,,,stopping,,,,because I did just leave my fucking body thank you very much

 **laf** : we live to please

 **little lion** : and you succeed every time

 **johnn** : <3 sleep

 **little lion** : !! yes !! sleep

\---

 **anastasie** : weRE COMING HOME AND UNCLE HUGH IS DRIVING AND UHhHh HE SHOULDNT

 **more like HUNKules** : ARE YOU OKAY

 **anastasie** : YAYAYA BUT HE DOESNT??? HES SCREAMING HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THIS BUS

 **more like HUNKules** : HJHDJHSDJ

 **anastasie** : HSKDHADSHKJSDHKS

\---

 **hugh lowercase** : boating ??

 **more like HUNKules** : ya

 **hugh lowercase** : !! y a S

 **more like HUNKules** : wait where are you

 **hugh lowercase** : we just pulled into the driveway

 **more like HUNKules** : okay because ana just texted me saying you can't drive and I swear ifyou were texting and driving with my children in the car I would've had no choice but to kill you!! legally

 **hugh lowercase** : fair

 **hugh lowercase** : also rudE

\---

 **frances** : we're hOM E

 **james** : WITH A WHOLE H O U R LEFT FOR NAPPING

 **james** : I LOVE MY LIFE!!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm engaged

 **pip pip doodly doo** : casually

 **pip pip doodly doo** : when I actually get do get engaged, I'm gonna propose fr and it's gonna be hugE

 **theodosia the Second** : ooh can we go on a fancy date

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ??? yoU DOnt gEt to knO W ??? 

 **theodosia the Second** : what if I ask like,,,nicely,,,,

 **pip doodly doo** : ,,,,no

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : how old do I have to be to propose

 **laf** : ,,,18

 **pip pip doodly doo** : REALLY

 **laf** : well,,,if you plan to be married by 20,,,,you need time to plan so I guess sure

 **pip pip doodly doo** : omg what will people say when they find out I'm engaged at 18

 **pip pip doodly doo** : like,,,about you,,,bc everyone who knows me knows who I want to marry and who theo is

 **laf** : I am,,,a nonbinary person married to three people and have three children, one of which calls the other ball bitch at his sports games in front of my Eyes

 **laf** : I have long since learned to not Hear anybody I don't want to hear, and to Not Care

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,,goals

 **laf** : I know

\---

 **anastasie** : I literally hate all of you

 **frances** : we loOooOOooOooVE you ana

 **anastasie** : ugh

 **frances** : come cuddle us

 **anastasie** : where Are you

 **pip pip doodly doo** : we put all the bags on our bed so uhH we're gonna join in on this

 **theodosia the Second** : omg I'm gonna be so warm

 **frances** : william is here too !! seven people cuddle pile gET

 **pip pip doodly doo** : leT US CHANGE KHDKSHDSAKLH

 **anastasie** : firST COME FIRST SERVE

 **pip pip doodly doo** : aH

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : WAKE UP ITS BAOT TIME TIIME ITME ITME

 **laf** : you spelt it right Once

 **more like HUNKules** : hush you still married me

 **laf** : tru tru

 **little lion** : ??? I can't hear them running around up there

 **more like HUNKules** : !! I'll go check

 **little lion** : god bless I Don't want to walk up the stairs

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you

 **little lion** : I love you too!!

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : oMG

 **more like HUNKules** : they're all in one huge pile in frances' bed and her, james, francis, and pip are like,,,the Foundation of the thing, and then william, theo, and ana are just like passed out on top of them and !! I love our family I'm going to cry

 **more like HUNKules** : I have so many children

 **more like HUNKules** : theo, francis, and james are our kids now in law

 **little lion** : omG!! also yes!! I love our seven small children and our small nephew

 **laf** : alex won't let me braid his hair anymore because I ""make us late"" and ""kill him"" which honestly?? rude

 **little lion** : I loOve you

 **little lion** : so very much even though you gave me viIiiIisible hiCKeys

 **laf** : ,,,,,

 **johnn** : we are 42.75 on an average,,,just wanna put that out there

 **laf** : but alex is beautiful and leaving marks on him is fun

 **little lion** : I know you wanted to do my makeup while we're here

 **little lion** : which means you have concealer that matches my skin With You

 **laf** : ,,,,I'll get it, but only if you let me do the rest of your makeup

 **little lion** : fine but I want the matte lipstick that doesn't make me feel greasy

 **laf** : !! !we're gonna be so laTE but I'm so happY

 **little lion** : mgmgnmgb we're already late,,,kiss me first

 **laf** : !!!

\---

 **james** : loves,,,,is it okay if I Don't go boating with you tonight??

 **james** : I'm just not feeling the,,,,rocking on the ocean,,,,thing,,,,I already feel kind of sick

 **france eyes** : of course it's okay love!!

 **james** : I can go to the boardwalk with frances' dad though, it's just not the !! boat

 **frances** : !! ya !! it's fine !! I'll just tell my parents and then we'll see you at dinner??

 **james** : !! of course !! thank you I love you so much

 **france eyes** : we love you too!!

frances: love you!! <3

\---

 **frances** : !! can james go with you, william, and ana to the boardwalk ??

 **little lion** : of course!! is everything okay??

 **frances** : yeah he just doesn't really want to go on the boat tonight !! and also can you ask par if I can borrow their like four million dollar gel eyeliner

 **little lion** : okay just making sure!! and also come down here bc I See the pile of clothes at the top of the stairs and I'm not going out like that

 **frances** : thank!!

 **frances** : oH your eyebrows!! bomb af

 **little lion** : thank you mon ange!!

\---

 **johnn** : hghhg there's a hickey on hercules' neck lafayette why

 **laf** : not sorry

 **johnn** : it's like I'm looking at a crime scene and investigating evidence

 **more like HUNKules** : well we're just gonna hope nobody notices it

 **laf** : I can cover it up if you want

 **laf** : I have makeup for all of you you just never let me reach my full potential

 **more like HUNKules** : no I'm fine

 **more like HUNKules** : I love lafayette

 **laf** : lafayette loves you too

 **little lion** : lafayette is doing my makeup and every time I open my mouth they instinctively put their thumb on my bottom lip and,,,,bitch

 **johnn** : jsJSDH

 **more like HUNKules** : while we're out here though, can we talk about how beautiful john is, because we touched on it earlier but he is a fucking beautiful masterpiece of a person and I am so lucky to be married to him

 **more like HUNKules** : he's gorgeous and shirtless and hghghgh the hard lines of his shoulders and his arms are so Muscles and then his chest and his stomach and the way his pants are VerY low and he's just !! his hair is so shiny and he's just!! putting that stuff in his hair that lets him do it when it's dry and!! I just want to !! run my hands through his hair and do that thing where he sits on my lap and we make out and then I dip him and he laughs so loud and it echoes and !! god his legs don't get me stAR te d

 **more like HUNKules** : for our 21st wedding anniversary can we renew our vows please

 **little lion** : no

 **little lion** : I don't have room on me for another tattoo of your beautiful!! and heart shattering but amazingly heartwarming words

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,my earlobe is bruised bc of you I get to renew our vows

 **little lion** : I got a tattoo for you to get your ears pierced and they have Sparkling Diamonds in them sO IF MY MOUTH JUST SO HA PPE NS to finD YOUR EARLOBES WHEN ITS hAPPENING, THAT IS NOT MY FAULT

 **more like HUNKules** : UhHHhH I GOT THE SAME TATTOOS AND ALSO BOUGHT YOU A SMOOTHIE TODAY

 **little lion** : smOOTHIE?? FOUR DOLLARS

 **little lion** : ME DOING THAT THING THAT MAKES YOUR EYES TO ROLL BACK IN YOUR HEAD THE WAY THEY DO??? PRICELESS

 **more like HUNKules** : HJHDJHSJD I LET YOU SLEEP ON MY CHEST LAST NIGHT

 **little lion** : uH YOU LOVE WHEN I SLEEP ON YOUR CHEST DONT EVEN ACT LIKE YOU DONT!! YOU ALWAYS SLEEP SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I SLEEP O N YOU AND THEN WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU SIGH AND JUST FUCKING MELT INTO THE BED UNLIKE WHEN NOBODY SLEEPS ON YOU AND YOU WAKE UP AND GROAN AND THEN YOUR BACK CRACKS SIXTY TIMES WHEN YOU STAND

 **little lion** : NEXT ARGUMENT

 **more like HUNKules** : BUt whAT IF I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO STAND SOMEWHERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WE KNOW AND PROFESS MY UNDYING LOVE TO YOU A SECOND TIME BECAUSE !! ITS BEEN SO LONG

 **little lion** : ,,,,25th anniversary, because I have a Whole Separate wedding to pay for before Anything else

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,I love you

 **little lion** : I love you too!!

 **laf** : ,,,are you telling me,,,,alexander hamilton,,,,,the man who,,,,after we got married, Complained because he had to wait a Whole Hour to recite the remaining 22 minutes of his vows,,,,isn't willing to renew those

 **little lion** : uHhH whOLE other wedding, the fact that hercules almost kiLLED ME last time, and also my legs!! my old old oLD legs!!

 **little lion** : I sit behind a desk and lay in bed all day I can't stand like I used to !! my knees are dead now

 **johnn** : ,,,,I have certain arguments about the working of your knees backed up by about a half hour ago,,,,but okay

 **little lion** : ,,,,,my makeup is done now

 **laf** : and despite!! the fact that he kept moving bc he was texting and giggling thinking about his spouses!! he looks very beautiful and his highlight is blinding

 **laf** : ""spouses"" means us and james and thomas btw that's what I mean

 **johnn** : !! alex is gonna look so beautiful at his wedding omg !!

 **laf** : ,,,,we need to clear a space for all of the wedding pictures

 **laf** : or wait are we moving in with them before you get married!! we can buy new fuRNITURE !!!

 **johnn** : ARMCHAIRS ARMCHAIRS ARMCHAIRS

 **more like HUNKules** : nEW NIGHTSTANDS FOR OUR BEDROOM THAT D ON T HAVE LUBE AND WATER SPILLED AT THE BOTTOM !!

 **little lion** : mEGA MATTRESS

 **little lion** : can we move now

 **johnn** : tbh

 **laf** : I mean,,,,we'll have to consider the lease but we can soon?? or once frances goes off to college but I want to ask her before we make a decision

 **more like HUNKules** : ya bc she,,,idk if she'll be comfortable just going to like !! the weirdest surroundings and experience ever and we don't want her to come home to something,,,entirely new and unfamiliar

 **little lion** : ye!! children first, everything else second

 **johnn** : oh my god the diNING TABLE WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO FUCKING GET

 **laf** : BYE BYE BYE

 **little lion** : LAFAYETTE JUST LOOKED UP AT ME AND GASPED BC THEY FORGOT I WAS WEARING MAKEUP AND !! I LOVE THEM SMSMSMSM

 **laf** : sometimes I just get the overwhelming urge to pick alex up bridal style and just !! swing him around bc I love him so much

 **little lion** : I'm,,,right here and wow!! standing right in front of you,,,,so able to be picked up,,,,and yet my feet are right here,,,,on the ground

 **johnn** : wow !! alex's laugh never gets old !! love him a lot

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you a lot

 **johnn** : mMmM hercules my love

 **more like HUNKules** : you look so goOD in shorts and your fucking boat sandals and your lil bundle of curls in your ponytail and wow how did I get so lucky

 **johnn** : my ho n e y

 **more like HUNKules** : you have so many freckles and then the one beauty mark on the back of your neck hghhg

 **johnn** : we have to go!!

 **laf** : lets gO!!

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : francis has just informed me that bc we're polyamorous we should use polyam instead of poly bc polynesian people have been using it for centuries and are trying to !! raise awareness for that !! so jot that down

 **little lion** : !! I love being educated

 **johnn** : !!

 **laf** : !!

 **more like HUNKules** : also he has informed me that meggings are things that he,,,owns

 **little lion** : 50 points in my heart for Educating us, and -2000 for,,,,meggings

 **little lion** : he doesn't have to fight for points though as long as he's not trash he's okay and can remain my son-in-law until frances breaks up w him

 **little lion** : iF she breaks up with him idk

 **laf** : !! :^O frances would look so beautiful at her wedding

 **johnn** : they are Hardcore fighting tears rn

 **laf** : she's eighteen and goes to college next month!! she was six like fucking yesterday shuSH

 **johnn** : do you want me to hug you

 **laf** : yes please

 **johnn** : I'm here

\---

 **johnn** : we'RE PLAYING MY BOAT PLAYLIST

 **johnn** : JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS IM NOT SPRINGING THIS ON Y'ALL

 **laf** : I added songs to that btw

 **johnn** : I know and I like them

 **laf** : not as much as I love you though <3

 **frances** : s T O P T H A T

 **little lion** : we Got you your boyfriends you do not get to do this to us

 **frances** : yOU GOT ME MY BOYFRIENDS, THEY DID NOT

 **little lion** : hA I GET A PASS

 **johnn** : RUDE WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TRY AND GET YOU BOYFRIENDS

 **frances** : ,,,,,didn't you get par and dads by going to their dorm room crying and sobbing out confessions until they hugged you,,,,how would you apply these skills here

 **johnn** : I,,,plead the fifth

\---

 **james** : ??? what does your dad mean by ""we Got you your boyfriends"" ???

 **frances** : sjdhsjd nothing you need to know about

 **france eyes** : nO I'm curious too !! and you love us so you should feel compelled

 **frances** : I mean, I don't

 **frances** : buT uhHhhHHH when you're stupid ass texted me like ""hey!! hey hey hey uhHh I think me and francis are in love with you and we know you know what polyamory is bc of your parents so uH we were hoping we could talk?? at some point?? or never haha it's up to you!!""

 **james** : ,,,,,,,it woRKED

 **frances** : YEAH BUT YKNOW HOW I DIDNT RESPOND FOR AN HOUR

 **france eyes** : YES HE CAME TO MY HOUSE AND TOLD ME AND THEN WE TEXTED YOU AND THEN FOR THAT WHOLE HOUR HE PACED AROUND THE ROOM AND IM NOT EVEN SURE HE BREATHED ONCE

 **james** : NEITHER AM I

 **frances** : I WENT TO ALEX BC LIKE !! HE WAS BETTER AT SHIT LIKE THIS AND PROBLEM !! SOLVING !! SO I WAS LIKE ""help my two best friends are in love with me and you are well versed in the polyamorys help help help!!"" AND HE LIKE DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT HE LITERALLY FR E A K E D O U T BECAUSE I WAS HIS OLDEST GOING INTO A POLYAM RELATIONSHIP AND HE HAD TOLD ME ""NOTH ING ABOUT HOW POLYAMORY WORKS"" AND THEN SAT ME DOWN IN A CHAIR IN THEIR ROOM AND HAD A WHOLE CONVERSATION ABOUT LIKE

 **frances** : THE PROS AND CONS OF POLYAMORY AND HE HAD MY P H O N E BC I SHOWED HIM THE MESSAGES AND THEN HE FORGOT TO PUT IT DOWN AND HE WAS LIKE ""just be honest with them. you want to be with them, let them know that. they're probably freaking out waiting for your answer, so just say that,,,y'know,,,you want to date them But you still have a lot to talk about and then go and Talk about it with them"" sO HE IS ACCREDITED FOR GETTING US TOGETHER AND ALSO IT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS THAT ME AND MY DAD EVER DID TOGETHER

 **frances** : ORGANIZE A POLYAM RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE IN IT WERE DYING IN THEIR OWN ENVIRONMENT

 **james** : aW !! that's so cute

 **france eyes** : I love your father,,,in like a grateful to him for helping me date the loves of my life !! kind of way

 **frances** : !!

\---

 **little lion** : I'm proud of you mon ange

 **little lion** : and I'm happy you and your boyfriends are so content to be with each other and support each other in where you're going in the future and where you might go and !! I'm glad I got to help you get that

 **frances** : !! thank pops !! ily !!

 **little lion** : ily2!! have fun on the boat !!

 **frances** : we will!!

\---

 **johnn** : I'm sobbing alex is finally the tallest

 **little lion** : I knOW !! I feel p o w e r

 **laf** : who let this happen

 **laf** : my tiny husband

 **little lion** : I'm still your tiny husband!! just not next to all these itsy bitsy children

 **more like HUNKules** : itsy bitsy childreN!!

 **little lion** : put your phone away!! go boating!! have sm fun and doNT forget to send me pictures of hercules Shirtless, and also get soMEone to send me a video of when lafayette and john inevitably start slow dancing and being deliGHTfully gross

 **laf** : we will!! we love you!!

 **little lion** : I love you too!! have fun!!

 **laf** : you too!!

\---

 **macaroni fUCK** : ghhghshs we just woke up

 **little lion** : aw I wore you out

 **jmadzzz** : you,,tend to

 **little lion** : I miss you both a lot

 **little lion** : and also I love you

 **macaroni fUCK** : we love you too!! and also james is whining now bc you won't be home for five whOLE days

 **jmadzzz** : I'm not whining, I'm just upseT

 **jmadzzz:** I can't wait to get to wake up next to alex every day and just !! have a morning routine and eat fucking breakfast and I'm so gay!! coming home with him and just !! getting to sleep With him and Next To him and !! I miss him so muchchcshdjh

 **little lion** : y'all are too goOd to me I love you!! !!!! ! !! !!! ! ! !!!! !

 **macaroni fUCK** : you're both so cute I'm so blessed

 **macaroni fUCK** : also !! did y'all Not sleep after That

 **little lion** : ya for like,,,,an hour,,,,but then we got up and got ready and lafayette did my makeup and !! now I'm on the boardwalk w ana, james, and william

 **jmadzzz:** william is your nephew right?? hercules' older brother's son

 **little lion** : ye!!

 **macaroni fUCK** : ?? and james is frances' boyfriend,,,,right

 **little lion** : ya frances has two boyfriends named francis and james respectively

 **jmadzzz** : I'm

 **jmadzzz:** amazing

 **little lion** : you Are amazing

 **jmadzzz** : s t oP

 **macaroni fUCK** : hES BLUSHING!! AH

 **jmadzzz:** HSJDHSJDHSJ

 **little lion** : !!! aW

 **macaroni fUCK** : !! go be with your family !! don't miss out on our account !! and also send pictures of your makeup bc you're beautiful and we love you!!

 **little lion** : I'm going!! they were on a haunted house thing that I don't Do so I was like !! yes let me text back the loves of my life and see what they messaged me abt

 **little lion** : and I will!! I love you too!!

 **jmadzzz:** <3 <3 <3

 **little lion** : <3 <3 <3!!

\---

 **little lion** : we went to the bookstore,,,,

 **laf:** did you get my murder mysteries I wanted

 **little lion** : ya except two because they don't sell one and the other is sold out but uH!! you might get a,,,call,,,,from the bank

 **johnn** : what did you spend

 **little lion** : weLL my books plus ana's hardcovers and laf's murder mysteries along with these chapter books william asked for and also a book abt stars that james was looking at we came up to like,,,,three,,,,,,hundred,,,,,dollars,,,,,and 76,,,cents,,,,,,

 **laf:** ,,,I'll accept this because I asked for like thirteen books and that's Some Money right there, plus ana and william always have an unlimited balance,,,and james is nice and our daughter's boyfriend,,,,and you're cute and we're married or whatever

 **little lion** : love you!!

 **johnn** : what kinda books did you get

 **little lion** : gay ones

 **johnn** : ,,,mood

 **laf** : we love you too btw!!

 **little lion** : how is the water oit

 **laf** : nice !! hercules is postponing getting shirtless and pip and theo have fallen asleep on the net thing that lets you sit like,,,Over the ocean

 **little lion** : how could one relationship sleep so much

 **johnn** : they've been awake like,,,five hours today

 **laf** : goals

 **laf** : I love our children but I honEstly?? really miss being able to sleep for twenty hours a day on a saturday and only getting up to eat meals and make out

 **laf** : then again frances and and francis are lying on the Other net thing and just talking about the future and john is trying to get me up to dance with him and our life is so good and beautiful so!! maybe waking up on saturdays to go to pip's soccer games or drive ana somewhere or!! just make breakfast and use so many fu c k i n g eggs is okay, and perfect, and just as amazing as I always hoped !! and I get to live it with youOUou

 **johnn** : are you gonna dance with me or what my love

 **laf** : !! yes !! goodbye alexander !!

 **little lion** : goodbye loves!! I'm gonna get freNCH !! fries

 **laf** : as long as you don't forget that I am, indeed, your favorite french thing

 **little lion** : french fries aren't even french but yes you and the language will always be my favorite things from france <3

 **laf** : just making sure!!

 **little lion** : so ridiculous

 **little lion** : I love you so much

\---

 **james:** your dad uh

 **james:** first of all bought me a huge ass book about stars and I feel bAD because it was like twENTY!! DoLLaRS!! ,,,but ALSO like casually told me I could live at your house if I wanted

 **frances:** whAT

 **james** : he !! we were standing outside this arcade and william and ana like ran in and he was like ""I just want you to know this, because I think now would be the best time to tell you since you'll be alone for awhile cause I'm gonna go try and win my spouses some bomb ass stuffed animals, but uh, frances told us a little bit about your home life, just the stuff you let her and knew about!! and we've been talking about it, and we just want you to know that, if you ever need to or want to, you can always stay with us. whether it be for the night or longer, you don't even have to ask just show up, you'll always have a place to go as long as you need one.""

 **james** : I have it ingrained in my head now and I want to go waste my money on arcade games but holy shit

 **frances** : I loVE MY !! PARENTS !!! ! !!! ! !! ! !!! ! !!

 **frances** : AND YOU!!! AND FRANCIS AND MY WHOLE LIFE AND I MEAN IT!! THEY MEAN IT!! WHEN THEY SAY THEY'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT THEY MEAN PROBABLY A LOT LIKE,,,VERBALLY AND NOT OVER TEXT MESSAGE AND !! BABE !! MY JAMES PLEASE

 **james** : I need!! my family!! to pay!! for college!!

 **france eyes** : we understand this, we love you so much, but james!! you're going on full Full scholarship and you aren't going to be living with them a majority of the time

 **frances** : just

 **frances** : we have one month left before we start college and only get to see francis on break, please just !! it doesn't have to be Living with us!! just like,,sleeping over in a more important sense,,,,of whenever you need to be Away from them, you just,,knock on my door,,,and then yell at me to open it bc I can't hear for shit,,,and I'll answer

 **frances** : whenever you need

 **james** : you know I love you right?? and that living with you is all I want and that it's gonna take me eight fucking years before I can actually be qualified to do what I want to do and I don't even want to know how you're going to put up with that !! but I want to !! do that myself !! I don't need or want to be Handed things in my life!! I want to get away from my family and be with you for the rest of my life but I have to do those things for myself!! and I can't just impose on you like that and walk into your house whenever I want and !! I don't get how you could just do that for me!! I don't want you to do that for me !!

 **frances** : james, my love, my sun, moon, stars, the breath in my lungs and tied for first for my #1 ho, I love you so much !! we love you so much!! and yeah, it's going to be difficult when you're still at school but my love!! if you don't think me and francis are going to be Right There the whole time, while you're relentlessly supporting us the way you always Have and Do with us, then honestly we haven't done our part in showing you how much we really!! do love you !! and we understand!! wanting to be independent and not wanting to have things be handed to you but!! an offer to be able to get away from your gross household is not!! charity and it's not!! being handed a thing !!

 **frances** : you literally went through that for so long, and you kept going and that means so much!! to me and you and everything and my parents!! they don't talk about it a lot but I know that they didn't all have the Best childhoods, and I Know that them thinking about offering you to live with us isn't just!! wow look at this child :) we need to help him :) it's !! we understand what this child is going through, we don't want another child to go through what we did!! and you can !! ask me before you come over, and I'll tell you what's going on and you can decide whether or not you want to come down or not !! it's a choice you can always say yes or !! no !! to

 **frances** : my love my thumbs are broken

 **james** : so is my heart

 **james** : in like a good way I love you so much you fill my heart w so much love it just bursts open like those little get well soon balloons francis always buys for no damn reason

 **james** : and !! give me time to think about it

 **james** : please

 **frances** : take all the time you need james

 **france eyes** : we love you

 **james** : I love you too

 **james** : when are you going to be done boating !! it's getting dark

 **frances** : probably soon, john has his pictures of hercules getting shirtless and driving the boat for my dad and john and laf got to dance and make the rest of us gag so !! they're done, hugh and elizabeth got to drink white wine and chortle at how weird my parents are, pip and theo got to nap, and we got to be out here and !! comfort you !! so we're pretty good to dock

 **james** : yay !! I need a fucking hug

 **james** : but until I get one I'm gonna go !! play arcade games

 **france eyes** : win me one of those big ass bumblebees at that stand where that cute guy works

 **frances** : ,,,,win two of those

 **james** : I'm,,,,

 **james** : on it

 **frances** : yay!! love you!!

 **james** : I love you too!!

\---

 **frances** : I don't have my land legs yet!!

 **france eyes** : she's on my Back

 **james** : hgjJHGJH I got your bees

 **frances** : thank you so much!! I have the best boyfriend

 **frances** : also my uncle's wine is su per strong

 **james** : ???

 **frances** : he let me have ONE SIP in the View of my parents, who let me drink wine on thanksgiving and christmas, and it tasted like jet fuel and I'm dying

 **france eyes** : I was just taking pictures of us so !! expect those

 **james** : I'm sitting here on a bench on the boardwalk with alex on one side holding this Huge bag of books, and then two big ass stuffed bumblebees in between us and then william and ana trading little plastic dinosaurs bc neither of them are willing to trade their bigger stuffed animals they got

 **frances** : mood

 **james** : I do have a cord tying them together so I can carry them bc that guy was flirting with me and I got him to give me one before telling him I'm not single and not Looking either

 **frances** : that's hot

 **james** : ?? loyalty

 **frances** : yes.

 **james** : I'm

 **james** : let's get through dinner first

 **frances** : of course

\---

 **little lion** : I want another visible tattoo

 **laf** : nOW??

 **little lion** : no like,,,in the future

 **little lion** : !! also thank you for the pictures of hercules !! he's very beautiful !! six out of five stars very good muscles, very nice, love the shoulders lookin like Rocks or smth

 **johnn** : why are you leaving a yelp review of our husband rn

 **little lion** : mm would definitely visit again

 **more like HUNKules** : you're wild

 **little lion** : always

 **little lion** : I'm getting some fucking form of mac and cheese tonight btw

 **little lion** : ,,,also shrimp

 **johnn** : what are you Doing right now

 **little lion** : waiting for you and fantasizing about food

 **little lion** : also watched james win two fucking meteor size stuffed bumblebees for francis and frances and then tricked the prize warden to give him a cord to tie them together in a way similar to how lafayette gets our coworkers to give them the good pens

 **laf** : making them flustered and then flashing the ones who think they have a chance my wedding ring??

 **little lion** : similar yes

 **johnn** : honeSTLY SUPPORT THAT, FUCK IT UP LAFAYETTE USING THEIR BEAUTY TO GET GOOD OFFICE SUPPLIES BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT LEADS THE LIKE,,,PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW US/ARENT FAMILIAR WITH OUR TRACK RECORD TO DEVELOP LIKE,,,CRUSHES ON LAFAYETTE?? AND THEN FOR SOME REASON COME TO M E FOR ADVICE ABOUT IT??

 **johnn** : SOMEONE CAME UP TO ME LAST WEEK AND ASKED IF LAFAYETTE WAS SINGLE AND WHEN I SAID YES THEY'RE MARRIED THEY GO "",,,happily??"" LIKE WHY

 **laf** : I am married Very happily thank you

 **little lion** : love you

 **laf** : love you too!!

 **laf** : also we're here!!

 **little lion** : ya I'm just gonna put the books and the meteor bees in the trunk

 **johnn** : I lovE alex hhghhghg look at his arms

 **little lion** : ?? I have no muscle mass

 **johnn** : doesn't matter you're pretty af

 **little lion** : hjdhJH

\---

 **frances** : the bees are our children now,,,named frances and francis

 **frances** : also !! james

 **james** : yes my dear

 **frances** : can we hug you 

 **james** : yes please

 **frances** : !! <3

\---

 **frances** : can I get another key to our house

 **little lion** : why

 **frances** : ,,james got really anxious about just walking into our house when you invited him, so I told him he could text me and like,,,Ask abt what's going on and I'll explain so he can decide whether he wants to come over or not,,,but if I'm not home I don't want him to just be Stranded,,,so,,,a key

 **little lion** : of course!! I'll call tomorrow and we can pick it up once we're home

 **frances** : ty!! also do you know where we're going rn

 **little lion** : not at all hercules won't tell us

 **frances** : amazing

\---

 **laf** : ??? what was the secRECY FOR

 **johnn** : we'rE AT A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT??? I DONT UNDERSTAND

 **more like HUNKules** : what

 **laf** : we asked you like forty times where we were going and you never answered

 **more like HUNKules** : oH !! I couldn't hear you at the fuck all I was spaced out

 **little lion** : mood

 **little lion** : so cute

 **johnn** : wow

 **johnn** : watching hercules run and tackle alex to pick him up and just,,,twirl him,,,,and they're both laughing sm,,,,and then kissing when hercules stopped and they're both smiling so wide,,,,I am going into cardiac arrest

 **laf** : we're literally 22 years old at all times

 **laf** : like we don't age we still act like we just got together last month

 **little lion** : I have!! to get!! my hair dyed!! we are aged!!

 **little lion** : at least I am

 **laf** : you are not

 **laf** : and if you Are, then you're a fine wine love and you're just getting better as time passes

 **little lion** : stop iT

 **laf** : blusHIN

 **little lion** : gkhstoP IT

 **laf** : aH

\---

 **anastasie** : I JUST WANT TO EAT AND WE CANT EVEN GET INTO THE RESTAURANT BC OUR PARENTS ARE CHORTLING AND FLIRTING WITH EACH OTHER, F2J IS HAVING A CRYING SESH CASUALLY IN THE DAMN PARKING LOT, PIP AND THEO ARE D R A G G I N G THEMSELVES HALF ASLEEP, AND HUGH, ELIZABETH, AND WILLIAM ARE THE ONLY ONES KEEPING PACE

 **hugh lowercase** : thanks ana

 **theodosia the Second** : I'm so fucking Tired

 **theodosia the Second** : fuck I just said fuck in this group chat

 **laf** : three times big mood

 **theodosia the Second** : ksdhsjdhksj

 **pip pip doodly doo** : can I just get like,,,,,dessert

 **little lion** : they have really good crab puffs here

 **pip pip doodly doo** : nvm

 **frances** : also fuck you ana we're having a moment

 **anastasie** : y'all are so tall compared to him

 **james** : I knOW

 **james** : I kind of love it actually

 **france eyes** : <3 I Really love you!!

 **anastasie** : stop, I want crab legs, we are GOING INSIDE

 **frances** : fine

\---

 **little lion** : !! our children's signifs are acting like they're our children's signifs !!

 **laf** : I'm

 **johnn** : no I get it and Understand, they're like talking and laughing and frances is holding james' hand right in front of us like,,,,they trust us with this,,,,somebody kiss me

 **more like HUNKules** : cALL IT fuck y'all

 **laf** : rude as shit

 **little lion** : I want a divorce

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you tho

 **little lion** : we love you too but !! back to this

 **little lion** : I told !! james that he can stay with us whenever he wanted and I think I made a thing happen and I feel bad bc I don't think it was a good thing bUT !! I hope it's resolved and I Think it's resolved and !! frances asked me if we could get a key for him and I said okay

 **johnn** : okay

 **johnn** : unrelated I really want to kiss your neck right now but continue

 **little lion** : ???

 **johnn** : you have that chain on and I just noticed it and my Heart was like Kiss Him. but my mind was like hmm maybe not??

 **johnn** : also we can call tom and then pick it up when we get home

 **little lion** : ya that's what I told her!! I just wanted you to know

 **more like HUNKules** : oh yeah are we having sex later

 **more like HUNKules** : just so I know

 **laf** : honestly depends how many scallops I slam down tonight my sucre cube

 **little lion** : you can't say sugar in french and then cube in english

 **laf** : says who??

 **little lion** : mE!! defender of,,,,america??? god no

 **johnn** : JHJDHSJ

 **johnn** : I'm gonna kiss your neck really quick

 **little lion** : you're literally insatiable

 **johnn** : I keep staring at your neck like a vampire I Need to

 **little lion** : fine

 **little lion** : you're a mess

 **johnn** : yup

 **laf** : this started out as a conversation discussing our children's signifs and how they're comfortable enough around us to actually be with our children

 **more like HUNKules** : yeah!! and about our children and getting signifs,,,I'm just sayin in the future,,,,ana's girlfriend?? will be terrifying

 **johnn** : oh aboslutely

 **little lion** : ?? now I'm curious where is this coming from

 **more like HUNKules** : I was literally just thinking about it like a moment ago bc ana is talking to theo and I was like wow ana's only 15 but like,,,,when she,,,eventually gets a girlfriend bc she talks abt it sometimes,,,,she will be terrifying and have Incomprehensible power

 **more like HUNKules** : or they will?? who knows if she's polyam or !! who knows

 **laf** : oh my god we will never find a dining table

 **laf** : fucking NEVER

 **johnn** : thanksgiving has bumped up four people this year

 **little lion** : yeah making it the four of us, james, thomas, lucy, jane, hugh sr., sarah, hugh jr., elizabeth, william, martha, henry jr., james, mary, mary's +1, pip, ana, and frances

 **laf** : t wE N T Y O N E PE O PL E

 **laf** : HJSDHJSDkhjHA frances has to stay at the kids table

 **laf** : I love her and she's an adult legally but at the same time,,,,we can't afford it

 **laf** : oh my god I just got so stressed

 **little lion** : phone down !! I'm getting water

 **laf** : thank you I love you

 **little lion** : I love you too!!

\---

 **james** : is lafayette okay

 **frances** : they do this sometimes when they get anxious they'll be okay

 **france eyes** : how do you just Know that

 **frances** : my parents don't ??? hide stuff like that from us??? they told us they want us to understand it so we weren't afraid or confused by it if we noticed other people or ourselves oR each other y'know,,,strugglin ?? so !!

 **james** : I love you

 **frances** : I love you too!! are you alright??

 **james** : yeah!! just grateful I get to be with such a wonderful person

 **frances** : bvmbcnbm goodbye

 **frances** : wanna split a little lava cake with me

 **france eyes** : yES

 **james** : !! ye

 **frances** : yay!!

\---

 **little lion** : I'm on a loOve high where is john

 **johnn** : peeing

 **little lion** : ew stop and come here

 **johnn** : I can't just??

 **laf** : oH also, to answer hercules' earlier question that we postponed, me and alex are like,,,borderline wine drunk so uh it's really up to john bc we're outtie

 **johnn** : I want to Sleep

 **more like HUNKules** : that's fine I love you all

 **laf** : we love you too are you okay,,,you got your soft eyes Blindin me over here

 **more like HUNKules** : yeah but I like to say it to make sure I don't come off as like,,,mad,,,because I do love you and want to make sure you know that like,,,having sex with me isn't like,,,you aren't,,,idk how to word it

 **laf** : you are the sunshine husband,,,the true mari de soleil,,,,you apologize when you've already worn shirts I have in mind when I want us to match,,,,my honey,,,and also we!! have been together 20 years we understand what you mean and we trust ya <3 no worries here

 **more like HUNKules** : I just like to be sure

 **laf** : I know hercules, and honestly it's really cute and sweet that you still do that and make sure of that even though we've been together so long and !! I love you so much

 **more like HUNKules** : <3 <3 <3

 **laf** : <3 <3 <3!!

 **little lion** : outside of the fact that two of you are sober and me and lafayette are Not, when we fuck when we All get wine drunk and I can hear it moving in my stomach it really makes me want to die in case you wanted a fun fact about me

 **johnn** : A WOMAN JUST GLARED AT ME BC I CHOKED WHEN I WAS WASHING MY HANDS ALE KCHSKDHSJH

 **little lion** : I'm juST SAYING

 **more like HUNKules** : HSJDHSJDHSKAJH

 **laf** : :^O !! hercules' lauGH

 **little lion** : tHE BIG ONE

 **johnn** : nO I MISSED IT

 **more like HUNKules** : iM

 **laf** : YOU HAVE AN INSIDE AND AN OUTSIDE LAUGH

 **little lion** : YOUR OUTSIDE LAUGH IS SO BIG AND BEAUTIFUL AND IT JUST FILLS THE WHOLE SPACE YOU'RE IN AND CARRIES IN THE WIND AND ECHOES IN THE BUILDINGS AND REVERBERATES THROUGH THE MARROW IN MY BONES AND !! WOW !! MY HUSBAND

 **johnn** : HER CULE S MU LL IGA N!! SUNSHINE HUSBAND!! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL!!

 **more like HUNKules** : shUT !! LETS GO HOME  
  
**little lion** : wait unbutton your shirt I'm taking the tattoo covering Off you  
  
**more like HUNKules** : in the?? middle of a seafood restaurant parking lot??  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ,,,,I mean,,,alright,,,  
  
**laf** : I just choked on my own tongue I wish I hadn't gotten drunk  
  
**more like HUNKules** : there'll be other times, considering the fact that we're Married and we have sex,,,pretty fucking often for people with three children  
  
**johnn** : okAY IM OUT LETS GO IM SO EXCITED TO SLEEP

 **more like HUNKules** : ooOh we changed the sheets these don't have oil cookie crumbs in them

 **laf** : siLK

 **johnn** : !! yES !! LETS GO!!

\---

 **laf** : my small, is everything okay?? you're sleeping on the couch

 **anastasie** : ya but frances, francis, and james were all making out and my bed is next to theirs so !! I'm waiting it out down here

 **laf** : okay

 **laf** : do you want me to go get your new books from alex??

 **anastasie** : !! please

 **laf** : !! I'll be right back down

\---

 **little lion** : ,,,,I didn't notice it until I literally Handed all the books to ana but,,,the new series she wants to read??

 **little lion** : it's the one maria wrote?? the huge one that's super good and also gay

 **laf** : !! ooOh

 **little lion** : oH I brought it up and we have been banned from Telling maria that ana reads her books bc that's ""embarrassing""

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,my text message was half written,,,but fine

 **little lion** : our lives are so weird

 **little lion** : !! lafayette take off my eyelashes !!

 **laf** : I,,,plan to take off all of your makeup if that's good

 **little lion** : I mean, I can do it

 **laf** : I know but I like getting to hold your chin like I do and just watch as you go back from shiny husband to tiny husband

 **little lion** : AHHHHHHHHHHH

 **johnn** : AKJADHJSH SSKHDKJSDHKSJ

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm tattooing that on my face goOODBYE

 **laf** : KHSJDH I AM COMEDY FOLKS

 **little lion** : hJJSDH COME HERE AND TAKE MY MAKEUP OFF SO WE CAN GO TO BED!!

 **laf** : coMING

\---

 **frances** : we're done

 **anastasie** : god fucking bless

 **anastasie** : I'm coming up now

\---

 **macaroni fUCK** : when we all get this megahouse, can we get houseplants

 **little lion** : we?? it's three in the morning

 **macaroni fUCK** : yeah I Know but james woke up and then went to get water and he can't sneak Anywhere so he woke me up

 **jmadzzz** : rude

 **jmadzzz** : do you want anything??

 **macaroni fUCK** : can you get me some grapes from the fridge please

 **jmadzzz** : ye

 **macaroni fUCK** : I,,,,love being married

 **jmadzzz** : ??? 14 years ???

 **little lion** : khsJHKJH

 **macaroni fUCK** : are you saying you Don't love being married???

 **jmadzzz** : bi!! I do love you and being married to you very much

 **jmadzzz** : I would love to be married to alexander too if we're talking about it

 **little lion** : nice

 **little lion** : also !! I've been thinking and,,,,what if we got married the year Before ana graduates, if you're okay with that

 **little lion** : it would be not next year but the year After, two years from now

 **macaroni fUCK** : reALLY!!

 **little lion** : yeah!! I talked to lafayette, john, and hercules about it before we went to bed and !! they're supportive bc they always are and I !! really want to be married to you !! and to live in our big house and just !! all the stuff you said before I just want it all for the rest of my life to be with you every second I can be and to love you and Make a life with All of my spouses in it

 **jmadzzz** : if you're proposing to us over text message I swear to fuck

 **little lion** : I am

 **little lion** : two years, august, I'll be swimming in college tuition fees for frances and maybe pip, and bills every possible thing imaginable but I don't care. I just want to be with you, so !! jaMES MADISON, TH OMAS JEFFERSON

 **little lion** : wiLLL YOU, DO ME THE MOST HONOR, AND MARRY ME PLEASE IN TWO YEARS

 **macaroni fUCK** : right now I'm going just going to say Yes, because I am almsot asleep and waiting for james to return with my Grapes

 **macaroni fUCK** : tomorrow, I am going to wake up and cry a considerable amount and then yell at you over text message for tuggin my heartstrings by proposing to me at three in the mornign when we can't sEE YOU FOR FIVE MORE DAYS

 **little lion** : ,,,goodnight!!

 **jmadzzz** : yES ILL MARRY YOU BTW

 **little lion** : YAY!! I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH!! gN SEE YOU IN FOUR DAYS

 **macaroni fUCK** : if I wasn't dead because I just got engaged I swear

 **jmadzzz** : eat your grapes so we can cuddle and sleep again

 **macaroni fUCK** : ,,,,fine but just know I'm gonna smother him with my lips when he gets home

 **jmadzzz** : understandable

 **jmadzzz** : also give me a grape what the fuck

 **macaroni fUCK** : no get your own

 **jmadzzz** : tHomAS

 **macaroni fUCK** : jsskjdhsdkjhkdhsJHDK

 **macaroni fUCK** : j32jhE4OO4HHKJHKJHJH5KJ;EHJSLSB IHDSJH3KJRH9-4IKDSHJDHO-=0 JDKSLHDJWI;;;;KSDJLSH

 **little lion** : what the fuck

 **jmadzzz** : we were wrestling bc thomas is greedy sorry love

 **little lion** : did you get Any grapes

 **jmadzzz** : nO BC HE BIT ME

 **macaroni fUCK** : ;^)

 **jmadzzz** : I'm going to bed goodnight 

 **macaroni fUCK** : RUDE  
  
**little lion** : jHJSHDJ

**Author's Note:**

> ,,,,,so a lot,,,,happened,,,,,feel free to scream by commenting or just,,,,go right to the source @ my tumblr
> 
> tumblr: lol-phan-af


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